Five days in, and you're wondering how I'm doing, right?  Well, it's getting easier to eat right.  I seem to have stopped eating a morning snack and an afternoon snack.  I'm trying to just eat less and eat healthier.  I've also gone to decaf coffee for the most part, trying to limit myself to just one or two cups of caffeine.  And I've only had one glass of wine all week, though we are heading out to a comedy club tonight, and I'll most likely have a drink or two.  Not sure what my best option is, but will probably go with a light beer.  Depends on whether there's a minimum.  Comedians are usually a little funnier when you've been drinking. He's also a hypnotist--maybe I can get him to help in my weight loss journey?!

As far as weight, I did finally step on the scale, though I told myself it would just be water loss.  I was down 3 pounds, which I was glad to see.  I truly was afraid the number would have risen, and then what?  That's too much discouragement for sure!

The exercising part is not going so well.  I purposely chose NOT to get out of bed this morning and exercise.  And I'm actively choosing right now not to do anything.  I've read, napped, and am now typing, so I can't say that I haven't had time.  I tell myself I'll do it later, but I know I won't.  I should have just gotten out of bed when I first woke up, exercised, and been done with it.  I feel so much better when this what I do.  So why don't I just DO IT!!!  Sigh.

So I'll try to focus on eating right and worry about becoming more active later.  Doesn't help that it was -1 degree when I woke up this morning and the thought of taking off my jammies to put on workout clothes was not appealing in the least.  So I rolled over and slept for another hour.  I also need to stop storing my workout clothes in the cold closet.

Anyway, I'll keep trying to move more and get some exercise in when I can.  I mean, moving a little is better than not moving at all, right?  Obviously, I'm not the person you want to choose to be motivated by, huh?  But I'm fun, right?  Right?!!

So, two days later...and a friend posted a meme that said:

Been on this diet for two days 

and haven't lost any weight.

This is bullshit.

And yes it is.  Why isn't there a magic way to lose the weight that is painless and quick?  Because it truly is bullshit to have to go through all this denial:  I don't have a eating problem.  I don't have discomfort.  I love eating healthy foods and working out. 

So anyway, I have managed to workout two days this week; a walking workout on Wednesday and a all-body strength workout on Thursday (today).  I find that I do not like to workout at home if anyone else is around.  I don't know why, maybe just that I'd rather pretend that I don't have to work out. 

Once I get into it, I really enjoy it, especially dance-like workouts.  But finding the motivation is so hard.  I think it's the time factor.  It's not like it just takes 10 minutes.  Oh yeah, there's all kinds of "10 minute workout" videos out there, but you can't do it in 10 minutes.  First you have to change into your workout clothes, then you have to find a place to workout, get some water, and then warm up a little, do the "10 minute workout," cool down and stretch, then shower.  Suddenly the 10 minutes has turned into a half hour, 45 minutes, if not longer.  But don't do it, and it hangs there over your head, judging you.  

And then there's the eating.  I just want to grab the Cheetos and eat the entire bag.  Barring that, I want to at least eat several slices of bread.  Bite into something substantial.  Have more than soup for lunch.  East a candy bar.  Sure, I can do those things sometimes, but I want to do them all.  And I want to do them all right now! Sigh.

But I'll keep trying.  I'll drink more water.  I'll eat more protein and fiber to keep my full.  I'll work out for 30 minutes or so.  Eventually, I'll be glad that I did.  

January 2nd, so what else?  Time to lose some weight!

"Weight vs. Me" has been going on for years.  I struggled with it as a youngster, battled it as a young adult, was totally aware of it during adulthood/parenting years, and am now losing the war as a post-menopausal woman.  And losing it heavily (pun intended!).

So, at 163 pounds, I'm finally ready to do something about this.  I feel awful, the rolls of fat stick together and get in my way when I turn or bend, and none of my clothes feel comfortable.

In what he thought was an inspirational moment, my husband had me lift the 40 pound bag of salt we'd purchased for the softener.  When I could barely move it off the ground, he told me that that was the amount of extra weight I was carrying around these days.  So while I got pissed off at him in the moment, later I realized he's right.  Not telling him that, but still...it has helped spur me on.

About eight years ago, I was shopping for some khakis.  I remember looking for size 6, and while I was searching, another woman was looking for size 16.  I thought to myself, "wow, I can't imagine having to wear that large of a size."  Fast forward to now, and though I'm not quite there, I'm near enough to be concerned and in my mind, apologize to that poor woman.

So I'm hoping to limit my caloric intake to 1300 calories a day.  I plan to work out for 30 minutes at least 5 days a week.  I've got an overall goal, but I'm going to take it one step at a time, so for now, my goal is to lose 10 pounds by the first weekend of February (not sure what the date is without consulting the calendar, but that's close enough). If I reach it, I'm going to treat myself to something. Not sure about that either (suggestions anyone?), but will probably be workout gear or a pedicure or something along those lines.  Probably not food. :(

So, that's the story, morning glory, at least for now.

Ha, don't have much faith in myself, so we'll see how this goes.